Archives for : February2014

Stating the Obvious About Valentine’s Day

Love Day is coming. Brace yourselves.

I know it, because white tents are springing up in the parking lots of grocery stores. They are filled with red and pink and white things. Stuffed animals, boxes of candy, balloons. Everything is shaped like a heart. Soon, sad men will be clustering around these tents, picking through the junk, looking for the perfect knick knack to express their unique and eternal love for whomever. 

Continue Reading >>

The Best Movies Ever – Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery


Only two things scare me, and one is nuclear war.

What is the other?

‘Scuse me?

What’s the other thing that scares you?

… Carnies.

Continue Reading >>

Your New Best Friend – The Cucumber Martini

Whatever crazed alchemist comes up with the cocktail recipes at True Food Kitchen needs to be given a Nobel prize for this.

I’m by no means a prolific drinker but I like to think I’ve sampled much in my few years. Sugary cocktails are a no-fly zone for my body, because of some mysterious genetic mutation that turns high amounts of sugar and alcohol into burning poison in my body. One margarita on an empty stomach and I can bet I’ll spend 10 minutes doubled over with abdominal pain and a flop sweat.

The cucumber martini is a revelation. It’s super refreshing, it tastes like nothing you’ve ever drank before, and it’s sweet without being syrupy. I can drink them without rending my insides apart. Making it at home requires a power juicer, as well as a somewhat obscure cordial. But here’s the recipe:

Cucumber martini

1.5 oz good quality vodka
1 oz St. Germain (elderflower liqueur)
1 oz fresh pineapple juice (not canned)
2 oz fresh cucumber juice

Shake with ice. Strain into a martini glass and garnish with the thinnest slice of cucumber you can manage. Savor the delicate beauty and preciousness of life.

The Best Movies Ever – Terminator 2: Judgment Day


Of all the would-be fathers who came and went over the years, this thing, this machine, was the only one who measured up 

Continue Reading >>